Carol ItohGROWING PAINS
May 15th 2007 03:24
As a child, I always thought that growing up would be a lot of fun. No one would ever say, “You’re too young to do this.” I’d be able to do as I like, without asking anyone; I’d have no school, no homework, no tests and no exams, I’d have a lot of money to spend on anything I liked. And of course, I wouldn’t be answerable to mummy or papa for every little thing I did or said, or may be, they wouldn’t bother to ask me so.
In short, my life would be my own to live.
But in this process of growing up, I realized that being an adult is worse than being a kid. When you outgrow the need to ask your parents’ permission for every little thing, you begin to have to ask a whole lot of other people who never figured in your life before, called society. Then you begin to realize that your parents indulged you a great deal because they love you, while this society doesn’t make any allowances for you because you aren’t cared a damn.
Instead of the predictable daily homework, and weekly tests, and quarterly exams, you begin to feel like each day is a test, each situation, each day is an exam about which you have not the least idea, and your performance today decides rest of your life. As for money, you never imagined that adults could have so many expenses. Earlier you would have fought for the third helping of ice cream but today you decide not to, because you need the money for something more important, more useful. And worst of all, your parents stop saying “Don’t do this, don’t do that…” and your conscience begins saying it. And then, you can’t even feel the thrill of disobeying because you’re only disobeying ‘yourself’.
That’s when you start wishing that your childhood had never passed…you begin to look back with regret at those carefree days when the only things you had to decide for yourself were, if Barbie should wear her green or red dress, or if you should bat, ball or field today. You will wish that it was just as easy to shake the people who bug you as it was to shake the tenacious doll which would not sit properly. You discover that things aren’t fair, and don’t go right, but you have to swallow that bitter pill. You also begin to wonder how making friends get so complicated. All you used to do when you saw someone new, was look him or her up and down and say, “Hi! Wanna play?” no malice, no pride, no prejudice and no crookedness.
But suddenly you realize that old times were all very glowing and now reality is something quite different. You’ll begin to wish that you didn’t have to watch whom you speak to, and what you say, and how you say it, for the fear of being misunderstood. You’ll think of the games you used to play with Barbie & Ken and with that, that was the only romance you needed to think about. This game with real hearts seems too serious, too confusing, too hurting, too affecting…too everything. But eventually, you’ll learn how to live as an adult and get used to the feeling of walking on a tightrope everyday. And when these gymnastics are learnt, you’ll finally find somebody who’s willing to sit on the roller coaster of life by your side, so that you can at least scream together when everything turns upside-down.
Being somewhere between the two, I can see about this far back and fore. I am only half an adult - the outer half. The inner half is still either stamping its feet wishing not to grow up or laughing at my adult awkwardness. My time as a kid has run out and I can only wish now that I could turn back time and turn a teen again to re-live those frolicsome days. That being impossible, I can try to keep the child in me alive always, and hold fast to the things that made my childhood so wonderful…things like simplicity, faith and a whole lot of love.
Shweta Sirohi Gupta[/CENTER]
In short, my life would be my own to live.
But in this process of growing up, I realized that being an adult is worse than being a kid. When you outgrow the need to ask your parents’ permission for every little thing, you begin to have to ask a whole lot of other people who never figured in your life before, called society. Then you begin to realize that your parents indulged you a great deal because they love you, while this society doesn’t make any allowances for you because you aren’t cared a damn.
That’s when you start wishing that your childhood had never passed…you begin to look back with regret at those carefree days when the only things you had to decide for yourself were, if Barbie should wear her green or red dress, or if you should bat, ball or field today. You will wish that it was just as easy to shake the people who bug you as it was to shake the tenacious doll which would not sit properly. You discover that things aren’t fair, and don’t go right, but you have to swallow that bitter pill. You also begin to wonder how making friends get so complicated. All you used to do when you saw someone new, was look him or her up and down and say, “Hi! Wanna play?” no malice, no pride, no prejudice and no crookedness.
Being somewhere between the two, I can see about this far back and fore. I am only half an adult - the outer half. The inner half is still either stamping its feet wishing not to grow up or laughing at my adult awkwardness. My time as a kid has run out and I can only wish now that I could turn back time and turn a teen again to re-live those frolicsome days. That being impossible, I can try to keep the child in me alive always, and hold fast to the things that made my childhood so wonderful…things like simplicity, faith and a whole lot of love.
Shweta Sirohi Gupta[/CENTER]
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